77 Steamroller--Marcia

At 77 my mother still kicks my heine. Hooked up to oxygen and only able to walk one step. She still gets more done in a day, with more sheer persistence, than I could ever fathom.

My mom has guts.

Ten days out of the hospital and she still decides to make the ten hour drive to Medford from San Luis Obispo. Her doctor said it was okay.

He didn't know that my mother does not relax on vacation, she fixes her children, her children's children, and their homes, bank accounts, and hem lines. We even picked out Halloween costumes, birthday gifts and party favors for James' and Daniel's upcoming birthdays.

My mother knows how to take care of business. She arrived. Took one look at my sister's brand new hand-me-down, overstuffed floral couches and got straight to it. I think it took her less than three days to have everything slipcovered, a new rug put in, the mantlepiece decorated, and the art work reframed and hung. A few new toned down tchochkes and a stylish floor lamp y voila! One daughter taken care of.

Then she gave us all her silver. We lined it up on the kitchen counter at Mama Katie's guest house. Sister and I drew straws and then the picking began.

I got to go first. Jesus loves me.

I know my sister wanted those candlesticks too.

My sons were born with the same genetic disposition as my brother Peter--they cannot wear pants that rise any higher than their hips. Thus we have major "crackage". My brother is skinny as a rail and has no butt, that's why his pants fall down. My sons are more hefty little packages and just can't pull their pants up over their tummies. Have no fear my mother's here.

She knows how to whip out her measuring tape, check their waistlines, measure the inseam, and get it all going on. After a day of hitting all her favorite places. She can come home and report that Target's 12 husky, and Sears 10 husky are the same. So you never know, you better measure first.

I wish she could have seen James checking the tag on his new color coded (the boys wear the same size) pants and the subsequent look of exhilaration as he hoicked on a pair of jeans that didn't trail three feet behind him. He topped these off with a cool gold-toothed skull shirt courtesy of Granny. He was so excited that he ran out to the curb when the schoolbus came and hopped right on. The thing is he doesn't take the bus anymore. Thank God he had shoes on, because he hadn't eaten breakfast, and left without his backpack or a jacket. But, damn, he looked good.

Who knew pants were such an esteem builder?

My mother!

She left me with a weight loss plan for both of them, copious healthy snacks from the "Traders" in San Luis, and a check to buy two weeks worth of Lean Cuisine. Oh, and three bottles of wine. Can I drink them all at once?

My weather beaten farmhouse table is now dressed with the beautiful Sheffield candlesticks, Georgian salt cellars, and Tiffany pepper shakers. They gleam amongst the scalloped platter laden with purple grapes, a green and gold acorn squash and a few rosy apples. My table, an island of etiquette and ancestry amidst my chaos. Thank you mumsy.

I putter around this morning, thinking about her visit and what she is able to accomplish. I think about how truly brave she is to be putting into action the last stage of her life. She is divesting. Distributing. Making lists. Making a plan. She has put her money down on Horton Plaza. She will sometime soon, be leaving her wonderful house, her garden and kitchen, the grandchild who is the favorite of her dotage, a circle of incredible friends, and her role as ruler of the roost--to come here--where she can live an active life simply by rolling down the hall to the "game room".

But you know. She is good at change. She takes charge of it, hems it up, makes it fit. And although my children are apalling, rambunctious, fiesty, and unruly--they adore her. My oldest son is already dreaming of riding his bike over to her apartment after school. I think that's a good thing. Maybe even better than silver candlesticks.

So mom, you better stock up on healthy snacks.